Saturday, November 6, 2010

Weird Fatwas

Listverse has a list of strange Fatwas.  Too be fair to Muslims, pretty much any Islamic scholar can issue a Fatwa, and they're not considered infallible.  However, even the silliest Fatwas reflect some of the bizarre teachings of the Koran and Hadith.  If you want to read the original list, reader discretion is advised.  Some Fatwas concern some rather adult topics.  The nuttiest Fatwas:


Sun and Earth
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The Fatwa: Grand Mufti Sheikh Ibn Baaz: The Sun Revolves Around the Earth
In a 2000 Fatwa titled “The Transmitted and Sensory Proofs of the Rotation of the Sun and Stillness of the Earth”, Saudi Arabian Grand Mufti Sheikh Ibn Baaz asserted that the earth was flat and disk-like and that the sun revolved around it. He had insisted that satellite images to the contrary were nothing but a Western conspiracy against the Islamic world.
Source: Al-Ahram Weekly Issue 477, 13-19 April, 2000.


Mickey Mouse
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The Fatwa: Muhammad Al-Munajid: Bring Me the Head of Mickey Mouse
That’s right, somebody put on hit on Mickey Mouse. Calling Mickey “one of Satan’s soldiers,” Sheikh Muhammad Al-Munajid decreed that household mice and their cartoon cousins must be “killed in all cases”, according to the U.K.’s Daily Telegraph.  And get this—the guy’s not your average nutjob, either—Munajid used to be a former diplomat at the Saudi embassy in Washington D.C. He made the remarks on Arab television network al-Majd TV after he was asked to give Islam’s teaching on mice.  But don’t worry, Mickey won’t be alone. Munajid also put a hit on Jerry from “Tom and Jerry”. Maybe they could rent a flat with Salman Rushdie.
Source: Report: Saudi Cleric Says Mickey Mouse ‘Must Die’.

Football
Iranian-Wome-Playing-Soccer
The Fatwa: Football fatwa
No, not even the beautiful game is safe from stupid fatwas. As part of a government drive to eliminate frivolous fatwas, the Saudi newspaper Al Watan lampooned one very real edict setting out new rules for football. Ridiculous demands included “do not play with 11 people like the heretics, Jews, and Christians”, and “play in your pyjamas or regular clothes (because) colored shorts and numbered T-shirts are not Muslim clothing”. Especially ridiculous is the edict to “remove the crossbar in order not to imitate the heretics and in order to be entirely distinct from the soccer system’s despotic international rules.”
Source: “A Fatwa on Football”, The Guardian, Monday 31 October 2005.

Vaccine
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The Fatwa: Infidel Vaccine
Polio is actually increasing in India, Nigeria, Afghanistan and Pakistan. Why? Because an anti-polio fatwa by anti-Western clerics forbid Pakistani children from immunizations, because the clerics are saying the vaccine is a conspiracy to make Muslims sterile. Ironically, it’s the clerics’ plans that would produce this result, as dead/paralytic kids don’t breed all that much.
Source: “POLIO ERADICATION: Looking for a Little Luck”, Roberts Science 6 February 2009
 Read the full list here.

4 comments:

  1. The flat Earth fatwa would be a good 1 to use the next time 1 of those PC wackos attack the Catholic Church for what it alledgedly did to Galileo. Might be fun to see the person's head explode.

    :)

    (Of course, I've just gotten a fatwa declared against me for the emoticon.)

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  2. Liberal multiculturalism is hilariously self-defeating when applied to Islam.

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  3. This isn't surprising, look at all the nutty things that extremist Christian preachers have said. I don't think this is a reflection on "the bizarre teachings of the Koran and Hadith," more likely it a reflection of people misinterpreting it. Look at all the stuff David Koresh said, and he claimed to be Christian. All religions have non-mainsteam members who do weird stuff.

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  4. Anon: David Koresh never managed to convince thousands of people to not inoculate their children against polio. Speaking of Koresh, Mohamed is a lot like that guy. He consummated his marriage to Aisha when she was 9 years old. Islam is the only major religion founded by a pedophile.

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