Tuesday, November 30, 2010

Shea on the Rapture, Cultural Assumptions, and Jedi Wisdom

Mark Shea writes:
As we begin Advent, the Church confronts us with Jesus' teaching about the Second Coming. His disturbing warning is well-known in our post-Protestant culture:
As were the days of Noah, so will be the coming of the Son of man. For as in those days before the flood they were eating and drinking, marrying and giving in marriage, until the day when Noah entered the ark, and they did not know until the flood came and swept them all away, so will be the coming of the Son of man. Then two men will be in the field; one is taken and one is left. Two women will be grinding at the mill; one is taken and one is left. Watch therefore, for you do not know on what day your Lord is coming. (Mt 24:37-42)
It's a text known not only to every reader of Tim LaHaye's and Jerry Jenkins's Left Behind series, but to millions of other people, Catholic, Protestant, and unbeliever. And the way in which it is commonly read, not only by Evangelicals but even by many Catholics, is that those who are "taken" are the blessed, while those who are left are accursed or otherwise abandoned to their fate by the Lord of the Harvest. I have even heard sermons from Catholic pulpits that take this for granted.
Only, here's the thing: As Scripture scholar Michael Barber points out, this is exactly backward from the Old Testament backdrop to which Jesus Himself is pointing.
Now, according to the standard rapturist interpretation, when Jesus says, "one is taken and one is left," he is teaching that the righteous one will be "raptured" while the wicked, unbelieving heathens will be "left behind."
The problem with this view however is that it seems to contradict what Jesus is actually saying. The larger context of the passage is an analogy: Jesus is describing the time of the coming of the Son of man in terms of the flood judgment.
What is often missed is this: according to Jesus, in the days of Noah it was the wicked who were "swept away" (Matt 24:39). In other words, in the days of Noah, the wicked were the ones taken
Hence, it would seem that in Jesus' analogy, it is desirable to be among those left behind -- i.e., those not swept away as the wicked were in the days of Noah. A careful reading then would suggest that the righteous are those who are left behind, not those taken.
 I realize that the view that Jesus here links salvation with those being "taken" is very much entrenched, no doubt in part due to the influence of the rapture interpretation. Yet such a reading does not seem to flow naturally from the text. In fact, such a reading in fact reverses the imagery so that the days of the Son of man are unlike the days of Noah, contrary to what Jesus himself seems to teach.
So much for worrying about being "left behind."
In other words, appealing to this passage as a basis for some Rapture is rather like appealing to Thomas Jefferson as a witness to the glories of monarchy. It's the opposite of what Jesus is saying.

Does Barber mean to suggest that those who read it as a reference to the Rapture are deliberately deceptive? I doubt that. Certainly, Catholics I've known who have read it to mean the saved will be taken have no intent to deceive. In fact, the people I have heard reading the passage this way actually reject Rapture theology. But by a sort of mental habit, they have nonetheless gone on reading the passage in a sense contrary to what the words themselves actually import. Why?
To answer that, let us consult with noted theologian Qui-Gonn Jinn.
As a general rule, I discourage people from getting their theology from Star Wars because, well, it's a dumb thing to do. However, understood rightly, there is a bit of Jedi wisdom to be had here and there -- rather as fortune cookies sometimes make a good call by dumb luck. For instance, consider Qui-Gonn Jinn's remark to Anakin Skywalker, "Your focus determines your reality."
That statement is lunacy if you take it to mean, "Things are only as we think them." Such insanity pervades every crank solipsistic philosophy on earth, from the people who tell you that your leg is only broken because you believe it to be, to the lunatics who believe that "will power" is the sovereign solvent for walking through brick walls.
On the other hand, Qui-Gonn's remark can also be understood to mean that we tend to interpret (and filter) facts to fit our predetermined ideas. That's just common sense -- and it's why we often miss facts that are staring us in the face. It's a principle every magician relies on in misdirecting our focus to one thing as he does something else to create the illusion. Indeed, properly understood, "your focus determines your reality" is a statement about the power of the human mind, not to create reality, but to radically misunderstand it.
Read the rest here.

Monday, November 29, 2010

Obama Hugs Medal of Honor Recipient Instead of Saluting





From NY Daily News:
Last week, Staff Sgt. Salvatore Giunta became the first living service member from the Iraq and Afghanistan wars to receive the Medal of Honor, the country's top military award.
But like most of the brave men and women who serve, Giunta knows he wasn't out there fighting for medals or recognition, and he accepted the award with admirable humility and heartfelt acknowledgment of those who have died in battle.

At the conclusion of the ceremony, Giunta got a hug, not a military salute, from President Obama. As a blog post on the website of Stars and Stripes, a military publication, pointed out, it would have been appropriate - though not necessary - for Obama to salute Giunta. It referenced a previous Medal of Honor recipient who had been saluted by George W. Bush.
H/T: Weasel Zippers

Staff Sgt. Giunta extracted his men from an insanely dangerous ambush in Afghanistan and the leader of the free world gives him a hug?  Salute the man Mr. President!

Sunday, November 28, 2010

Musical Advent Wreath: First Sunday

Each Sunday during Advent I will post a new song to form a musical Advent wreath.  The Advent season is a time to prepare both for the celebration of Christmas and for the Second Coming.  Today's readings are about the latter, so let's begin with some apocalyptic Johnny Cash:

Tuesday, November 23, 2010

Happy Thanksgiving!

Have a blessed Thanksgiving and safe travels!



Blogging will continue next week.

Monday, November 22, 2010

Pope: TSA Screeners Should Wear Condoms

Great satire from CMR:
VATICAN CITY - In what might amount to a complete reversal on longstanding Church teaching, the Pope has indicated that under certain circumstances it might be licit for TSA workers to employ the use of full body condoms.

The pontiff makes the comments in a book-length interview with a journalist from "Trains, Planes, and Volkswagens" magazine, "Don't Touch the Junk: Dirty, Sexy, Airport" The Vatican newspaper ran excerpts of the book Saturday.

Church teaching has long opposed condoms since they're a form of artificial contraception. The Vatican has been harshly criticized for its position given the AIDS crisis.

Benedict said that for TSA agents and their victims -- for whom contraception isn't a central issue -- condoms are not a moral solution. But he said they could be justified "in the intention of reducing the risk of infection."
Read the rest here.

Sunday, November 21, 2010

Viva Cristo Rey!

Today, on the feast of Christ the King, let us remember Bl. Miguel Pro, the priest and Cristero martyr.  His last words before his execution were "Viva Cristo Rey!"  (Long live Christ the King!)

 

Blessed Miguel Pro, pray for us!

Weekend Weirdness: Overly Ambitious Frog

 

The Gympie Times reports:
A GYMPIE couple watched a battle of epic proportions unfold on their patio one evening. A green tree frog, perhaps tired of eating moths day in and day out, turned the tables on an unsuspecting snake and decided to partake of something a little out of the ordinary.“It was about 6pm,” Mr Solymosi said, “my wife saw it happening and yelled out to me.”
The frog, determined to make a meal of the little crowned snake, was not about to let dinner get away.  “The frog stayed in the same position for quite some time,” he said.  “The snake was moving and the frog was waiting to see what would happen.”  Grabbing his digital camera, Mr Solymosi started recording the scene.  
“The frog was getting impatient and started shoving the snake into his mouth with his front feet.  ”At that point the snake decided to fight back and started to wind itself around the frog’s hind leg.  “That’s when the frog panicked because the snake tried to strangle him,” Mr Solymosi said.At this point discretion seemed the better part of valour, he said, and the frog released its ’death hold’, before both combatants went their separate ways.
 H/T: Dave Barry

Friday, November 19, 2010

I Appoint Some Czars

As of yesterday, there were 39 federal policy "Czars," most of them never approved by the Senate.  The constitutionality of the Czars has been questioned, and there's no doubt that they are used to expand the power of the executive branch.  President Obama's Czars include an Asian Carp Czar (really,) an AIDS Czar, an Ethics Czar, a Car Czar, and a Global Warming Czar.  There seems to be a Czar for just about everything and Obama continues to appoint more.

By the time you read this, a coup d'etat will have resulted in my becoming president of the United States.   (All comments should address me as Mr. President)  With the power vested in me by myself, I have appointed several new Czars:

Safe Schools Czar: Chuck Norris












Chuck's first task will be to roundhouse kick his predecessor in the face.  Obama's Safe School Czar is Kevin Jennings, a man who has spent his career promoting homosexuality in schools and is buddies with a prominent member of NAMBLA.  (If you don't know what NAMBLA stands for do not look it up)  After assuming Jennings's duties, Chuck will proceed to end all crime in schools and raise test grades by 5000% percent within a week.
Projected Budget: He's Chuck Norris.  He doesn't need a budget. 


Pro Life Czar: Fr. Frank Pavone



Fr. Pavone will be in charge of facilitating all federal pro-life activities.  He will get 300 votes in the House of Representatives, 61 in the Senate and 5 on the Supreme Court.  If anyone questions the constitutionality of this arrangement, Fr. Pavone can send the Safe Schools Czar to discuss the matter with them.
Projected Budget: 4 Billion Dollars

Video Games Czar: Sid Meir
 


Meir will be in charge of federal funding of computer game development.  Government grants will motivate software companies to make good games (ie. games that I like).  Get rid of Grand Theft Auto and make more Civilization and Panzer General.
Projected Budget: 50 Million Dollars

Economics Czar: P.J. O'Rourke













P.J. will direct national economic policy and whiskey importation.  As a humorist, he will also be in charge of all national level practical jokes.  P.J. (who is a recent convert) will get half the people in the country to hide for a few days.  All the evangelicals will think that the rapture happened and that they got left behind.
Projected Budget: 100 Million Dollars and 20 cases of cigars


Science Czar: Fr. Robert Spitzer



Fr. Spitzer will formulate national standards for science education based on Thomist metaphysics.  By my request, the Science Czar will direct 20% of his budget to the development of warp drive.
Projected Budget: 200 Million Dollars


Czar Czar: Nicholas II



Sure the guy's dead, incompetent, and lacks American citizenship, but I see no reason why that should disqualify him from holding federal office.
Projected Budget: 10 Million Dollars

I'm sure that the citizenry will appreciate my new appointments, and if they don't, I can simply remind them that I'm the one with the tanks (and Chuck Norris).  Now everyone sing Hail to the Chief!

Wednesday, November 17, 2010

On Economic Stimulus

I don't have a lot of time right now so I'll just give you all some words of wisdom from P.J. O'Rourke:

Tuesday, November 16, 2010

Archbishop Dolan Elected USCCB President

National Catholic Register reports:
New York Archbishop Timothy M. Dolan was elected president of the U.S. bishops’ conference at 10am this morning. The vote was 128-111 on the third ballot, a runoff in which he defeated Bishop Gerald F. Kicanas of Tucson, Ariz., who served as USCCB vice president for the last three years.
Minutes later, Archbishop Joseph E. Kurtz of Louisville, Ky., was elected vice president of the conference on a third ballot in a runoff vote of 147 to 91 over Archbishop Charles J. Chaput of Denver.

Awesome!  The only thing that could make this better is if Chaput were named Vice President.  Thank goodness that Kicanas wasn't elected.  It would have been a nightmare if a bishop who ordained an alcoholic pervert had become the leader of the USCCB.  God bless President Dolan!
H/T: CMR

Sunday, November 14, 2010

Ridiculous Government Regulations


H/T: Economic Collapse Blog

The Garden of Eden and Darth Maul

I noticed something at the end of Genesis chapter 3:
5 When he expelled the man, he settled him east of the garden of Eden; and he stationed the cherubim and the fiery revolving sword, to guard the way to the tree of life.
Fiery revolving sword?  How cool is that?!  Perhaps it looked something like this:


Episode I still stinks though.

Charles Carroll: Catholic Founding Father

Al at Is Anybody There? has written a great preview of a biography of Charles Carrol, the only Catholic to sign the Declaration of Independence.
The Life of Charles Carroll
Bradley J. Birzer
2010 ISI Books
(Part of the Lives of the Founders series)

On this day in 1832 at the age of 95, Charles Carroll of Carrollton died. For those who actually know who he is, their knowledge is limitted to some or all of the following facts:
1: He was a signer of the Declaration of Independence
2: He was the only Catholic to do so
3: He was the last surviving signer outliving only Thomas Jefferson & John Adams
4: His cousin Daniel Carroll attended the Constitutional Convention & signed the Constitution (He also signed the Articles of Confederation in 1781)
5: Another cousin, John Carroll, was the 1st American Bishop (& later 1st Archbishop)

For the most part, he has been 1 of the forgotten Founding Fathers. In recent years we have seen plenty of books on John (& Abigail) Adams, Ben Franklin, Thomas Jefferson & George Washington. There has even been a book on Betsy Ross. But beyond mention in these books most of the other Founding Fathers, including some of the most influential, have been ignored. In 2009 Carroll was listed as 1 of those who was forgotten but shouldn't be in The Politically Incorrect Guide to the Founding Fathers. Fortunately that oversight has been corrected. In recent years 2 biographies of Charles Carroll that I know of have come out. The latest is this book by Bradley. J. Birzer which came out earlier this year.
Charles Carroll was born in Annapolis, Maryland on 19 September 1739. His father, Charles Carroll of Annapolis (CCA), was not married to his mother, Elizabeth Brooke, at the time of his birth. Eventually his father did marry his mother & officially acknowledge Charles as his son. While he wasn't officially acknowledged as CCA's son until after getting his education, CCA did insure that Charles Carroll an excellent education. In 1748 Charles Carroll sailed to France to attend the College of St. Omer's. The Jesuit run school was known as the 'seminary of martyrs-the school of confessors. After finishing there he studied at Rheims & Louis-le-Grand in Paris. This Christian humanist education was the key that enabled him to accomplish all he did later in life to help start & establish the USA. In 1759 he went to London to study law.
Coming back to the Maryland in 1765, he soon found himself caught up in the events leading up to the American Revolution. He also found himself in a very unusual position of speaking out for freedom in a state where he was disenfranchised. But that didn't stop him. He kept writing & speaking out. Early in 1776 he found himself appointed by the Continental Congress as a member of a delegation to go to Catholic Quebec. Other members of the delegation were Fr. John Carroll & Benjamin Franklin. While they were not able to win Quebec to the cause, the trip did have some long reaching effects. Fr. Carroll stuck up a strong friendship with Ben Franklin. After the war, the Papal nuncio to France met with Franklin to sound out reaction to the establishing of a hierarchy in the USA. Based on Franklin's recommendation Fr. Carroll was appointed "Superior of the Mission" in the USA & later became the 1st US Bishop. 
Read the rest here.

Weekend Weirdness

Use a flamethrower to weed your garden!

From: Vintage Ads

Saturday, November 13, 2010

Thursday, November 11, 2010

Veterans Day: Honoring Those Who Served

WWII

Korea
Vietnam
 

Gulf War

Afghanistan

Iraq

A Modern Ozymandius

My buddy Sean, English major extraordinaire, has composed a great parody of Perry Shelly's Ozymandius.  Read it here.

Input from a History major: Shelly's poem is believed to have been inspired by a statue of Ramesses II.

Calvinist Monopoly

chance_monopoly_www-txt2pic-com

Get it?  It's a chance card.  I crack myself up.

Tuesday, November 9, 2010

Tweet for Life

From Danielle Bean:
I asked pro-lifers on Twitter to use an #IAmProLife hashtag and tell us why. I will be re-tweeting people’s responses at my Twitter account all day today.If you are on Twitter, please join us in making a positive statement in defense of the unborn. And encourage your followers to do the same. Let your pro-life voice be heard!

H/T: CMR

I don't do Twitter but I encourage all those who have accounts to respond to Danielle's call for pro-life tweeting!

Monday, November 8, 2010

Dogs Defy Sharia in Iran

From The Guardian:
H/T: ZipWire
It is well known that dogs, along with pigs, are considered unclean in Islam. Strictly speaking, the theology doesn't ban their ownership, or petting; the Sunna prescribes that dogs are "pollutants", contact with them rendering believers ritually unclean. This means that ritual cleansing is required before one is able to perform prayers. Despite this, dogs have been kept by Muslims for centuries...
However, having domesticated animals free to roam inside a house, contact with which would require ritual cleansing, would be quite tricky from a practical point of view for Muslims who are required to pray five times a day – even though there is no actual legal prohibition of dog ownership...
Even though a Saudi-style morality police has no place in a much more modernised, sophisticated and complex country such as Iran, nevertheless, official and semi-official state agents conduct waves of enforcement against manifestations of un-Islamic social conduct.
The state prohibition of anything in Iran is an open invitation for its widespread social promotion. Blond hair and garish makeup, nose jobs (of which Iran is the world capital) and extravagantly sculpted and gelled hairstyles for boys are all forms of sedition – political statements with a small "p". The state's legitimacy is thus questioned and openly ridiculed, at least by a certain section of the population....
An underground industry of dog beauty parlours thrives, mostly run out of private homes, as do a plethora of canine protection and welfare charities. A legal and substantial kennel industry has developed into what is fancily called "dog spas" where the middle class deposit their dogs when on holiday or, in the case of some of my conflicted relatives, when a devout auntie comes to stay.
The industry booms further every time a firebrand preacher calls for their banning or admonishes dog owners from such platforms like the much loathed national radio and TV. Its been a long time coming, but Iranian dogs are having their day.
Read the whole article here.

When my dad asks "why do we keep that dog around?," I can tell him that we're doing our part to fight Sharia law.

The Family Dog
Murphy: Defender of the West

Sunday, November 7, 2010

Freshmen Philosophers

(Scene: The college coffee shop.  Thomas Aquinas and David Hume are seated at a table.  Plato joins them.)
Plato:  Hey guys!  I drank one too many Red Bulls last night and instead of sleeping I came up with a whole new philosophy!
Aquinas: Well what's the philosophy?
Plato: Everything is like... not real.... but it is, because the world is a gigantic mirror!
(Aquinas looks skeptical, Hume just drinks his coffee.)
Plato: Everything reflects forms from an alternate reality, like the one where Spock has a goatee.
(Aquinas smacks Plato upside the head.)
Plato: Ow!  What'd you do that for?
Aquinas: I didn't really smack you, that was just a reflection of the smacking Plato form.
Plato: No way dude!  Forms don't do stuff, they just kind of float around.
Aquinas: Then how did I smack you?
Hume: This whole conversation is pointless.  There's no way either of you can know any of that stuff.
Plato: I totally can know this stuff!  You sound like that Epicurus guy.
Hume: Epicurus is a goofball.  Although, he does throw some pretty sweet parties.
(All nod in agreement)
Hume: Anyway, what I mean to say is that we can't know about things that we don't experience, and even then we can't be certain.  Epicurus said something like that but then he got all trippy and decided that everyone should drink a lot because stuff is made of "atoms."  Don't try to discourage him though, he might stop giving us free beer.
Aquinas: If we cannot be certain of any truth, then why bother talking about it, or anything else for that matter?  Why are you going to college when you could be doing something fun?
Plato: Uber pwnage noob.
Hume: I totally have an answer to that question but the lazy author of this dialogue hasn't read enough of my work to produce it.  I gotta go to class now.  I've got Econ with Adam Smith. 
Aquinas:  It occurs to me that by getting up from your chair you are providing evidence for a prime mover.
Hume: Whatever.
Aquinas: Well I've got to go too.  I'm off to Augustine's city management class.
Plato: See you later dudes.
(Hume and Aquinas leave.  Plato sips his coffee)
Plato: Those guys are some crazy mirrors.

Randy Newman: Short People

This is stuck in my head and now it can be stuck in yours.

Saturday, November 6, 2010

Weird Fatwas

Listverse has a list of strange Fatwas.  Too be fair to Muslims, pretty much any Islamic scholar can issue a Fatwa, and they're not considered infallible.  However, even the silliest Fatwas reflect some of the bizarre teachings of the Koran and Hadith.  If you want to read the original list, reader discretion is advised.  Some Fatwas concern some rather adult topics.  The nuttiest Fatwas:


Sun and Earth
6A00E5521C920588330105369A88Ee970B-800Wi
The Fatwa: Grand Mufti Sheikh Ibn Baaz: The Sun Revolves Around the Earth
In a 2000 Fatwa titled “The Transmitted and Sensory Proofs of the Rotation of the Sun and Stillness of the Earth”, Saudi Arabian Grand Mufti Sheikh Ibn Baaz asserted that the earth was flat and disk-like and that the sun revolved around it. He had insisted that satellite images to the contrary were nothing but a Western conspiracy against the Islamic world.
Source: Al-Ahram Weekly Issue 477, 13-19 April, 2000.


Mickey Mouse
0-2
The Fatwa: Muhammad Al-Munajid: Bring Me the Head of Mickey Mouse
That’s right, somebody put on hit on Mickey Mouse. Calling Mickey “one of Satan’s soldiers,” Sheikh Muhammad Al-Munajid decreed that household mice and their cartoon cousins must be “killed in all cases”, according to the U.K.’s Daily Telegraph.  And get this—the guy’s not your average nutjob, either—Munajid used to be a former diplomat at the Saudi embassy in Washington D.C. He made the remarks on Arab television network al-Majd TV after he was asked to give Islam’s teaching on mice.  But don’t worry, Mickey won’t be alone. Munajid also put a hit on Jerry from “Tom and Jerry”. Maybe they could rent a flat with Salman Rushdie.
Source: Report: Saudi Cleric Says Mickey Mouse ‘Must Die’.

Football
Iranian-Wome-Playing-Soccer
The Fatwa: Football fatwa
No, not even the beautiful game is safe from stupid fatwas. As part of a government drive to eliminate frivolous fatwas, the Saudi newspaper Al Watan lampooned one very real edict setting out new rules for football. Ridiculous demands included “do not play with 11 people like the heretics, Jews, and Christians”, and “play in your pyjamas or regular clothes (because) colored shorts and numbered T-shirts are not Muslim clothing”. Especially ridiculous is the edict to “remove the crossbar in order not to imitate the heretics and in order to be entirely distinct from the soccer system’s despotic international rules.”
Source: “A Fatwa on Football”, The Guardian, Monday 31 October 2005.

Vaccine
Files
The Fatwa: Infidel Vaccine
Polio is actually increasing in India, Nigeria, Afghanistan and Pakistan. Why? Because an anti-polio fatwa by anti-Western clerics forbid Pakistani children from immunizations, because the clerics are saying the vaccine is a conspiracy to make Muslims sterile. Ironically, it’s the clerics’ plans that would produce this result, as dead/paralytic kids don’t breed all that much.
Source: “POLIO ERADICATION: Looking for a Little Luck”, Roberts Science 6 February 2009
 Read the full list here.

Thursday, November 4, 2010

The Deerslaying Priest

Fr. Joe Classen is a Missouri priest who loves hunting and the outdoors and incorporates that passion into his ministry.  As my profile picture suggests, I am a proud hunter and I greatly appreciate Fr. Classen's appreciation for, and defense of, my favorite pastime.  He writes,
In the “green” days of political correctness, environmental activism and animal rights, the
American legacy of hunting is coming under more scrutiny than ever. There are many
concerns in our culture for animal welfare, and a more “humane” way of living. The idea
of armed, camouflage-clad individuals taking to the woods in search of their quarry is
abhorred by those whose fantasy view of the natural world is based on the subjective,
feel-good nonsense of Disney movies and the like.
Indeed, there is a tremendous amount of misinformation about hunting these days, about its purpose and value as well as the laughable stereotypes of those who hunt and fish.There is the incredibly mistaken notion that we hunters are crazed murderers who have a sick fascination with destroying life. Unfortunately, there are people who fit that description: They are called poachers, and they are criminals!
But for those of us who passionately love hunting and all things outdoors, absolutely
nothing could be further from the truth. Hunters are the first and truest environmentalists.
We are the greenest of the green.
Hunters are not mere spectators of creation, as other nature lovers are. Rather, we are
active participants as we immerse ourselves completely into God’s creation and take a
hands-on role in managing our natural, renewable resources, of which animals are a big
part.

Read the rest here.
H/T: Creative Minority Report

Fr. Classen's Website:
Hunting for God

Wednesday, November 3, 2010

Beards for Babies

This month is No Shave November, a time for men to sacrifice for the unborn by growing itchy beards.



General Burnside Says: Save the Babies!

Tuesday, November 2, 2010

1st Timothy 2:1-3

1I desire therefore, first of all, that supplications, prayers, intercessions, and thanksgivings be made for all men: 2For kings, and for all that are in high station: that we may lead a quiet and a peaceable life in all piety and chastity.  3For this is good and acceptable in the sight of God our Saviour


This election night, let's pray for all of our leaders, especially those newly elected.

CMR: Live Blogging Election Night

Creative Minority Report is doing a great liveblog of election night.  Check it out!

Elections

Too busy to comment much on today's events.  Check out this excellent analysis from the
Wall Street Journal:
WSJ Guide to Election Night

Monday, November 1, 2010

Litany of the Saints

May the Saints in Heaven intercede for us on The Feast of All Saints.

Zomblog: The Department of Free

From Zomblog

The Department of Free
Years ago, a wiser man
than you or I devised a plan
to dole out goods at zero cost
to those of us whose jobs were lost.

It seemed benign, so nice and kind
the plan grew to include the blind,
the old the lame then you and me,
and they called this plan
The Department of Free.

It started as a helping hand
to needy folks across the land,
so those who could not make ends meet
would not be forced out on the street.

Unemployment benefits
were just a start, because now it’s
free food, free homes, free surgery,
rebates, bailouts, loans — all free.

Now half of us just stand in line
all day long and gripe and whine
about the stuff we feel we’re owed
the list of which has growed and growed.

The line wends hither, the line wends yon,
and by and by it comes upon
a door above which we can see
those magic words:
Department of Free.

Once inside: a shopping spree
of endless handouts: it’s all free!
Drunken on entitlement
we grab a meal, a house, a stent.

The other half? We’re all employed!
Hearing this, you’re overjoyed
to know that at least some of us
have jobs and never cause a fuss.

But one last thing you ought to know,
our economic Alamo:
The place where we all work, you see,
is in the accursed Department of Free!

I push papers,
while he counts beans.
She helps seniors
and they help teens.
It takes a village to raise a child;
it takes a nation to run hog-wild.

Paul pays Peter, and Peter pays Paul,
yet neither makes anything at all.
Round and round the money goes
but where it comes from no one knows.

It all runs out eventually,
can’t simulate prosperity.
The shopping spree was just a dream,
a baseless potlatch Ponzi scheme.

With nothing left to give away,
The Department of Free itself must say,
“We’re all laid off, the end is near.
There’s no point working, even here.”

The last employed man not offshore
has just one more remaining chore:
Switch off the lights
and turn the key
in the broke
Department of Free.

From Medicare and Medicaid
came Medicould and Medishould
now Medimust and we’ve gone bust
we’re trust-fund kids without a trust.

Planned Parenthood President: Abortion in Danger

Life Site News Reports:
"I've said it before, and it bears repeating: women's health and reproductive rights are in extreme danger in this election," Planned Parenthood president Cecile Richards wrote in an email to supporters Monday. "The only thing we can do now is get out there and vote — and make sure everyone who supports women's health does the same."
Planned Parenthood, NARAL Pro-Choice America, and the National Organization for Women are scrambling to protect their recent political and legislative victories, particularly the abortion funding in the federal health care reform law, which were made possible by the Democratic stronghold on Capitol Hill.
"If anti-choice forces take back Congress, we’re preparing for attacks on choice that are worse than the Stupak abortion-coverage ban to health-care reform," Keehan told supporters. "Don’t let that happen."
The Moloch worshipers are afraid.  Hopefully the Republicans will make their worst nightmares a reality.