Prince William and Kate Middleton have banned guests from drinking beer at their wedding reception.
The prospect of guests downing pints has been deemed unsuitable for such a prestigious occasion.
Instead, the couple will treat their 650 guests to flutes of champagne and wine to accompany their canapés as they mingle in the palace's 19 state rooms.Instead of Newcastle, the royals will be serving the national drink of the French, England's traditional enemy. Wine might be more prestigious but for aesthetic purposes beer would be better for drowning the national sorrows of Great Britain. The Queen's subjects have every reason to drink at the moment. The royal couple will be married by the imposter Archbishop of Canterbury whose church will one day be nominally controlled by the groom. Following his eventual coronation, Prince William will become the anti-pope of the Church of England, an organization that is getting dumber every day. In addition, the sorry state of marriage in the UK and throughout the west is highlighted by a royal wedding that follows eight years of cohabitation. This relationship has not produced any children because Kate Middleton has suppressed her fertility like the rest of British women, whose few descendents will inherit a country ruled by Mohammedans. If anyone needs a beer right now, it's the English.