Saturday, December 17, 2011

Full-Auto Pizza

H/T: Pundit and Pundette
Nashville Local News reports,

Boy disciplined after waving gun-shaped pizza slice

For the rest of the semester, a Rutherford County elementary student has to eat lunch at the "silent table" for allegedly waving around a slice of pizza some say resembled a gun.
Nicholas Taylor attends David Youree Elementary School in Smyrna, about 30 miles southeast of Nashville.
A spokesperson for the school district said that the punishment has nothing to do with the pizza gun and that Nicholas is being disciplined for lying to a teacher about the incident.  However, the same spokesman then said
The principal is just trying to use an abundance of caution and send the message that we don't play about guns and it's not something we joke around about.
The article reports that Nicholas has been sent to the school resource officer to learn about gun safety.  It would seem that the kid really is being punished for brandishing a pizza gun.  I don't need to tell you that this is stupid.  To paraphrase Dave Barry, if boys were raised on a desert island and had no idea what guns were they would still collect gun shaped sticks and "shoot" each other.  The fact that schools ban boys from doing something as natural as shooting each other with sticks and pizza is indicative of the feminization of education.  Like Pundit and Pundette said, this is just another reason to homeschool.


  1. I really want a gun that shoot food, or even a food that functions as a gun really.

  2. I am disappointed.

    I expected a full report on a fully automatic pizza that shot pepperoni or deliciousness or something.

    PS Was it loaded? They shouldn't be allowed to punish the kid if the pizza gun wasn't loaded.

  3. "Leave the pizza, take the cannoli."
    Well some of the food polizia out there consider a slice of pizza just as lethal as a gun.
    This is just absolutely ridiculous. I wonder how they would have reacted had the kid brought a marshmallow shooting gun like I saw at the mall the other day.
    It is also more proof of what a great philosopher Dave Barry is.

  4. This is ridiculous! So much for imagination and creativity these days. No wonder America is losing its innovative touch. The PC police is really hurting America. The wussification of boys/men continues, sadly...

  5. John: Sorry to disappoint.

    Al: Marshmallow guns are a lot of fun! My dog likes to get shot with them.

    Teresa: Indeed.